maghagging: speaking of karl lagerfeld...

...his interview in march's bazaar came off as atrociously self-aggrandizing.

in the interview, random and seemingly non-existent women write in with their fashion dilemmas, and karl, being all-knowing and, consequently, the only person who can really understand you, answers their question.

here are some of my absolute favorites:

HB: With distressed elbows, white T-shirts, and acid-washed jeans all the rage, I am paranoid that my friends will think I have gone to the poorhouse. What impression will I make? Will my friends judge me?

KL: The T-shirt can be impeccable, and the jeans, too. (The body has to be impeccable as well — that helps a lot.) If it's not, buy small sizes and less food. Acid-washed jeans are not new — they existed at the same time as wild shopping did. To reinvent a newly impeccable you in the most modest of outfits, don't skip on makeup, and be sure to have flawless skin and hair. That will have more impact than expensive clothes. And, by the way, what kind of friends do you have? Dress for yourself and the man you love (if there is one). Women dressing to impress other women — forget about that. It's a very bad way of thinking.

as if dressing for other women is wildly inappropriate compared to dressing for some guy your sleeping around with (because i have a hard time believing his definition of "love" is what it should be). dressing for yourself will always make you feel better about yourself hands-down than any half-assed validation from a clueless significant other.

HB: I would love to sport a pair of extra-high sandals to a party, but will I be able to walk in them after a couple of drinks? Some of the models on the runways couldn't stay on their feet!

KL: Please, your question is childish. Don't drink when you wear stilettos. I can't advise you to get drunk at home to find out if you would be able to walk in them at a party. Plus, you aren't on the runway. Life should not be a fashion show. Only the girls in the shows have to wear unfinished prototypes.

oh karl, why so defensive? why produce heels in the first place if you can't wear them to a party that you will inevitably get trashed at? this question may be a little immature, but your answer was just plain hypocritical.

HB: In the '80s, I could pull off a micro-miniskirt, sheer hose, and shoulder pads without a worry. Now that the silhouette is back, I am compulsive about getting my figure flawless once again. Is this look a fleeting trend or is it here to stay?

KL: This look is not back for people who wore it when it was new. And why did you let your "flawless figure" go? Good excuse, but it explains your need to hide behind shopping trophies. Get that famous figure back, but forget about looks from 25 years ago. Don't touch them — there are enough new and different looks in fashion for your "flawless figure" when it returns, and I hope it's soon. These are fleeting trends, like all retro looks. Explore what's next in fashion.

first of all, he used to be a bit of a chubbster himself. i don't blame him, when you get older, it's difficult to maintain a good physique. so why the rudeness? and also, how does being large at all coincide with a need to mindlessly follow trends? if anything, a larger person who knows how to dress will go for more classic fits, like the a-line or a belted trench coat. come on now!

don't get me wrong, not everything he says is vile. he gives some pretty good advice (as he should!) but says it in a way that is so unbelievably elitist it gives me a headache. then again, mr. lagerfeld has never professed to be a man for the bourgeoisie.

read the rest of the mess here.